I’m all in when it comes to softball. I always have been. The games and the softball world have taught me so much and for the longest time I had a lopsided view of what the game wanted back from me in return. I can tell you that my idea of what commitment was led to a lot of stress and a lot of hurt relationships. When things were bad, I hid behind softball and used it as an excuse so I didn’t have to deal with other areas of my life. Some would say it is an escape. Looking back, for me it was a crutch. Eventually this led to the relationships with my friends and family being weakened. This is from a coaches perspective. Think about how some players might feel in this similar situation. We ask our players to give up so much to reach their goals. Do their goals and priorities match what we are asking? For some, yes I am sure they want that big name softball school more than they want to breathe air. That is amazing but it is not for everyone.
Softball is a big commitment but it is here to be a part of our life but not be all of our life. Balance is extremely important and I never thought so until I started working towards finding it. I started with seemingly simple things like putting my phone down when I’m around my friends and family and explaining to my teams and colleagues that there are best ways and times to get a hold of me and that I may not respond right away. That was a harder task to implement than I anticipated due to the immediate response demand and competition in the travel softball world. Eventually I realized and felt it was ok to separate myself from work for a few hours to spend quality time with people and it would still be there when I was ready to get back to work.
That small change led to more minor adjustments that eventually led to huge life changes. I stopped allowing softball to be my excuse. I made time to attend my church services more regularly. I spent more time working at my other job which was a great break from the field. I made more time to go hang with my parents. I spent more time cultivating the relationships God put in front of me both on and off the field. These small changes led to the biggest change of all. It was the amount of happiness I began to feel. Trust me when I say, happiness infects every part of your life. When someone is in a state of overall happiness, motivation, confidence, and productivity levels increase while stress levels decrease. Being able to share happiness with those around you is a definite blessing.
In many athletes I see the strains of competition on and off the field and during the recruiting process take away a lot of potential happiness. I openly talk to my players about balance and making decisions and prioritizing. We need to talk to our athletes about how to actually go about executing this task. How do you prioritize? What do you take into consideration during the decision process? What is important to you? This is part of their growth and maturity. We as adults are here in a position to help guide them and talk to them about real world situations and how their decisions have consequences both positive and negative. Sometimes we are the perfect example. Help them think through their decisions and not have knee jerk reactions purely based on how they feel in that moment. This is something learned so let’s make sure we take the time to teach them.
Is it true that if you stop working, someone else might be out working you? Absolutely. Every athlete, every person needs to decide what they are willing to sacrifice. There is no wrong answer to this question. They need to be YOUR answers and not someone else’s and definitely not what you think someone wants you to say. Sacrifice is a choice. It is an active decision to choose one thing over another. Understanding what your priorities are and finding a team or program that matches your priorities is a must in travel ball. There are so many great programs out there and each one has something specific to offer. Research and ask questions and figure out which one meets what you need.
I’ve learned that prioritizing your life is a must. Do what makes you happy. Live in the moment. Plan for the future. There are times to be selfless and there are times to be selfish. Make time for yourself. You are never alone. I am extremely blessed to be able to continue on this journey of navigating life around softball.
Life and Sports